The One Where Emzy Found a Dead Body

So Emzy has called Baltimore home for just about five years now. For anyone who has spent time dwelling in a city, you know that highly concentrated population leads to ridiculous happenings. There's no getting around that. And while Baltimore certainly is no Gary, Indiana, it's not exactly the safest place. Which makes what I'm about to tell you a little more understandable.

See, Emzy and Kathy (co-worker and former roommate), were heading to downtown Baltimore via St. Paul Street (if you're familiar). As they were bouncing along - if you've ever driven in Baltimore City, you know that bouncing is the correct term - they notice a head poking out from between two cars parked on the side of the road.

A HUMAN HEAD.

They, being CPR/First Aid trained, of course pull over immediately and call 911. It appeared they had come across a boy approximately 13-15 years old, hair in corn rows, and baggy clothes. But as they got closer they realized it was a middle-aged woman. They tapped her shoulder several times to see if she was responsive. Kathy had her pocket CPR mask on hand (never leave home without it!) but thankfully didn't have to use it. The lady woke up and told them she had been hit by a car.

HIT BY A CAR AND LEFT TO DIE?!?!?!

She was mumbling and trying to get up to stumble around while they are trying to get her to stay down and not move. Upon being told that help was on the way, the lady assured them that her mother was on the way to get her and, "Oh look there she is now." To which they responded by telling her that it wasn't her mother she saw, it was her reflection in the window of a parked car.

And just when you think it doesn't get any more ridiculous, a guy gets out of his car and tells Emzy and Kathy that he's glad they stopped. He didn't want to be the first one to get out of his car since it was kind of a sketchy neighborhood. Really right now? When I eventually lose my mind, remind me not to do it on St. Paul Street!

But still, the best is yet to come. Because when the ambulance did arrive, the paramedics were not surprised by what they found. It went something along the lines of, "Oh hey Anita, how are you today?" And then to Emzy and Kathy, "We got this, you can go."

Stuff like this does not happen unless Emzy is involved. I swear.